My immediate response from my gut is that there is nothing for you to handle. You make what you make. You worked hard for it, you made the the sacrifices to climb the ladder, you put your time in. Why should this be a source of anxiety for you now that you with a man who may not be on your level financially?
That being said, this is an area where many of us men are still 'old fashion'. Many of us believe in the literal sense that it is the man's responsibility to be the provider(money), the bread winner(money), take care of his family(money). To add to that, many women expect men to be 'old fashion' in those very same ways.
While many of those tennants remain in place today and in my opinion, rightfully so, being a man today is or should be defined more by how we as men live up to the responsibilities of manhood, which have very little or nothing at all to with money.
- Do we keep our committments and our word?
- Do we provide worthy leadership in our home?
- Do we know our child's teachers and do they know us?
- Is the woman in our life happy? You can define that for yourself
So setting the stage with that, answering the question, '"How do I handle making more money than my man?" is a little tricky.
If you're in a relationship, the issue of how much money you both make shouldn't be duscussed in the first year(my opinion). Based on how you both make your money and how and where you're living, for the most part, you can tell how well the other person is doing financially.
For practical reasons it makes sense for a woman to keep how much money she makes to herself in the early stages of a relationship. There are some dudes out there that are all about gettin what they can from a woman. The last thing you want to be as a woman is; how he makes his money.
Also, if you're at the relationship stage, outings such as dinner, movies, weekend getaways, can be a shared responsibility. He takes care of it this time, you got it next time, he plans and pays for your birthday weekend getaway, you take care of the 6 month anniversary dinner and dancing, etc.
Some of you may be thinking, what if he asksme how much money I make?
....Let me say this, if a man asks you how much money you make in the early stages of your relationship, that is a clear sign that there are some insecurities there. Look at this as an opportunity to bring him out of the dark ages of relationships. Don't down play your life style, the things you like to do and can afford to do. Show him that you are versitile when it comes to things you enjoy. Show him that there are things you love to do that don't require lots of cash.
- Mix in pizza and movie rental night with Tavern on the Green and Jazz at Lincoln Center the nextnight.
- Go hiking one weekend with a brown bag lunch and a shared canteen of water and the next weekend, spend some time in the wine country tasting a few pricey bottles of wine.
- Run that bubble bath for two with candles and strawberries and the next weekend, introduce him to the concept of a couple's spa weekend
Outside of "None of your business", which probably does nothing to ease his insecurities, I only have one answer to that question.
Tell him that you make enough money to take care of yourself, provide for your needs and many of your wants. If he isn't satified with that answer and continues to press you for a dollar amount, stand strong but gently on the same ground, letting him know that it doesn't matter to you how much money a person makes.
If he still doesn't get the clear message that you're sending him and presses on, it may be time for you to start thinking about your exit strategy. He may be one of my boyz that's not ready to evolve into real manhood.
Unitl next week, PimpSay.....make that money baby!
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